Space has 3 dimensions: X, Y, Z and so does love:
1. PASSION: "An intense physical, cognitive, and emotional onslaught characterized by excitement, ecstasy, and euphoria. Passion is driven by our irresistible intense feeling of love to a point that love is blind and we don't get to know the loved person better." (Berger)
For example, when you feel like: "I can't live without you." or "I don't know why your image always appear in my mind no matter what I do." or "I always remember your beautiful smile; your face, your eyes are right in my heart and no matter how much I try to put it aside, it will never fade away even a bit." or ...etc>>> then passion has formed. This is usually the initial stage in the beginning of many love relationships and also this is the most romantic part. Unfortunately, passion will eventually disappear bit by bit as time goes on.
2. INTIMACY: Closeness to, and liking of, the other person. At this point, you try to learn more about the loved person, you share personal stories and even deep secrets with them. You want to be close to them as often as possible; you want to go out with them holding hands and doing things together; you want to help them with their homework, jobs or any tasks; you want to care for them every minute...etc
Intimacy enhances the love relationship and makes it stronger.
3. COMMITMENT: "It takes even longer to form. It grows through a series of day-to-day decisions to spend time together, to care for each other, to share possessions, and to overcome problems even when that involves some personal sacrifice. Devotion and mutual dependence are traits of commitment. (Aron & Westbay, 1996)" (Berger)
Commitment plays the most important role in maintaining the stable love relationship; especially during marriage, commitment must be present to avoid divorce.
Without it, the relationship will fade away sooner or later. Lack of commitment also leads to break up or even divorce.
According to Sternberg, there are 7 forms of love:
- Liking: Intimacy alone
· Infatuation: Passion alone
· Empty love: Commitment alone
· Romantic love: Passion + Intimacy.
· Companionate love: Intimacy + Commitment
· Fatuous love: Passion + Commitment
· Consummate love: Intimacy + Passion + Commitment
In the western society, the ideal love is "consummate love."
Notes: some parts of this writing (with "quotation") are from the book The Developmental Person Through The Life Span 6th edition by Berger.
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